Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
