i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
