I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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