If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
