remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You brought string cheese to the strip club
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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