Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
