Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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