it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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