so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
