She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
did i walk over a car last night?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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