My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
