a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
