ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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