Its about making memories worth repressing
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
