i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just high enough for therapy.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
