Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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