you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
