She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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