i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
