I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize