Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
