You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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