Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
