hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize