hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
