forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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