you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
