Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
