WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
