You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
