Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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