Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
