i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
