My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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