come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
