you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
