do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
