my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
