Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
