Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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