Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
