I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
