You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
