They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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