let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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