thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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