Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
