I hate your face
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
