He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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