Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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