ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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