He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
