im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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