how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize