im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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