I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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