She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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